The Race-ist

1) Someone calls you a 'racist' and you're like "Thanks man, you should see my epic double clutching skills!"

2) The word "Piston" is something you do at the Urinal.

3) You think a racist is "an oke what drives fast"

4) You think Jub Jub and Malema would actually be ok if they kept their speeding to the track. But they don't, so they're doff. Politics Schmolitics.

5) You have a pile of Speed and Sound Magazines next to your loo for an intense reading experience!

6) A horror fliek is when the okes' car breaks down, not when the zombies come running out of the bushes.

7) You know what 'variable valve timing' actually means.

8) You know who Chad 'Spyke' Luckhoff is.

9) You ask for a 'Jeremy Clarkson special' when you go to the Barber.

10) You can't wait to watch The Race-ist at Cinemas!

More Race-isms:

James Sutherland

Your a Race-ist if you like don't mind inhailing 2nd hand tire smoke...

James Sutherland

Your a Race-ist if someone asks you if you smoke and you tell them "only when I drop my clutch on pull away!"

www.therace-ist.com

Careful now.. I'm gonna let you in on the reason they invented the phrase 'no pain, no gain'.

We've been showing our movie to investors and sponsors lately and after each viewing, my self confidence picks up a little more. So I feel sort of ok to share my experiences here with you...

Making movies?

It's scary as hell, because nothing works out quite like you want it to but you try to make it as cool as you possibly can with what you've got and hope like hell that someone will like it...
Evidently all directors go through this... I wonder what a mogul like James Cameron feels like when people watch something like Avatar for the first time? Does he already know that he is going to smash box office records.. again. or does he also chew his nails for the duration of the first screenings?

Well I aint Jimmy Cameron... yet! :)

This is my first movie and from the start the cards were stacked against us!
My first movie is a quarter-mile racing action-comedy movie with the best Cast I could find in a country where it is financial suicide to spend more than R2 mil on a movie (unless you are the awesome Leon Schuster!).

Anyhoo..

We jumped in Boots and all!
Went for it like wildfire!
And boy did we learn!
This is the most hectic film school there is baby, burned hands and chopped off fingers!

Before I let you in on the hardships, let me say this: Although things did not go as planned or promised, we forged through the fire and came out stronger and better on the other end. I believe we have produced a great product... but don't take my word for it, go watch it yourself!

Imagine jumping into a project that is bigger than anything you have done before, has almost no support from the powers that be and is complete virgin territory for you.

You just have something in your gut that says "you can do this" and you know that you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is something you have to do. Something you were born for. Like.. destiny or summin...

You do your homework, do your courses and then you jump in, and go like hell!

Halfway through your project, you start realizing that 2009 wasn't such a lekker year to make your first movie...
Marketing budgets get cancelled and Investors start dodging phonecalls...
You only realize 6 months later what the hell happened.
Epic economy fail.

When you are making a movie, money is literally everything!
Your cast and crew live from movie to movie - this means that if your movie does not pay them, you literally steal bread out of their mouths!

Imagine being the guy who has to pay those bills and then finding out that you are being strung along by investors and manipulated by the bigger sponsors who have to pay... These guys have legal departments who play you like a fiddle and have much more money (go figure) than you do for lawyers...

Dude.. we are talking sleepless nights, anxiety attacks and general 'where are you God?' prayers!

You keep pitching, begging, asking.. whatever you can to raise the missing bucks... Then you realize that the only way you're gonna pay these bills is to finish your movie.

Try being creative with a shotgun to your head!

Take a deep breath...

Annnnd...

You speak to as many of your suppliers as you can in the storms of responsibility. Some are uber supportive, taking the knock with you and trusting you to finish your project and pay your bills. Others are the exact opposite. All that matters to them is getting paid - and rightly so, this is their bread and butter and I made commitments! Some begin to sabotage your efforts to finish the movie, others hold footage ransom... It's a whirlwind of hell , a perpetuating nightmare that you think you may never wake up from... you lose your house, your car, you are homeless, living with friends and family but still you push on.. take the calls, make the calls, do the pitches, stay focused, stay positive... It hurts like hell when you realize that there is very little friendship when it come to money but your entire life gains new perspective when some of those who have the right to crucify you are the most encouraging. Some phone you consistently, cheering you on. Others phone you consistently with threats and even extortion. You keep hammering forward, thankful that your wife has not left you and suddenly....

on the morning of Monday the 15th of March at 09h55

...Twenty months after you left your job...

...it's over...

You deliver the final product... and people like it.

Sponsors are happy.
Investors are happy.
Test screenings go well.

None of it makes sense. After so much hell, you are wondering if there is a catch somewhere.

Suddenly Investors are approaching you for your next projects... it's crazy...

You dare to think "We did it".

Not even Box office matters... we finished it.. we did it.. we delivered... We can actually do what we set out to do!

I'm so exhausted right now that all I can think of is sleep. I think I should be enjoying the beginnings of the taste of victory... but until those bills are paid (IN THE BANK), sleep is a luxury... A week or two more of pressure and making investors happy and then it's me, a chair and a book.

I have a black eye. The combo of sleepless nights to finish the movie and blood pressure from the constant stress over such a long stretch inexorably lead to the inconvenient symptom of passing out every now and then... like on your desk.. with your eye.. haha.

I can feel the pressure starting to leave my soul though, the finished product and Investor approval were massive weights upon my shoulders. Someone got me a Bulldog pup as a prezzie - wow man - band aid for the soul! :)

Enough of the emo, lets keep moving!

The premiere is going to be awesome... Even though many of the sponsors did not keep their promises to us, we kept our promises to them - we kept them in the movie, we did not threaten them for money and now the fruit begins to show. Not only will the bills be paid, but many of those same sponsors are more excited about the marketing campaign and premiere than we are! 700 guests fed and hydrated plus given cool prezzies without it costing us a cent... Sound systems and lighting sponsored for bands and DJ's... awesome awesome awesome. Playstation threes to GIVE AWAY and the list goes on. The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.. hallelujah man! If I had the enrgy I'd be in my garden doing a jig in my undies right now.. I guess I'll save the jig for when those bill are paid eh?

So Ja... After the marketing campaigns, premiere, events and all the other work that goes with it, I'm gonna sleep for a while.

And then my next movie will make this one look like it's in nappies.

Watch this space!